Episode 35 | Tactial Relationship Training
Episode 35 | Tactial Relationship Training
Building Stronger Bonds: Tactical Relationship Training Insights
Exploring Ken and Wende Grubbs' journey in law enforcement relationships.
In this episode, Scott Hughes speaks with Ken and Wende Grubbs about their transformative journey in law enforcement relationships. Together, they delve into their initiative, Tactical Relationship Training, which aims to strengthen marriages in the law enforcement community. Despite its name, this training is secular and designed for all faiths, or no faith.
The Birth of Tactical Relationship Training
Ken and Wende share the origin story of their work, which began with Bless The Badge, an organization focused on supporting marriages affected by the unique challenges of a law enforcement career. Ken recalls that this initiative began in Texas nearly 30 years ago to address the difficulties officers and their spouses face because of the demands of the job. After a life-changing event in 2017, Ken and Wende recognized a gap in resources for law enforcement families. They took the reins of Bless the Badge and have led as executive directors for the past three years.
Practical Tools for Real-World Challenges
A key part of their training is its hands-on approach. Ken emphasizes giving couples practical tools they can apply in daily life, not just theory. Their summits and couple coaching sessions focus on real interactions that help partners communicate effectively. Ken reflects on the importance of understanding communication styles, noting that many couples come in needing guidance on how to express their feelings and decompress after a stressful shift.
"We ask couples to sit down and have a conversation about what decompression time looks like when you come home from a shift." – Ken Grubbs.
The Reality of Law Enforcement Marriages
Scott and Ken discuss the often-cited statistic about high divorce rates in law enforcement. However, they clarify that the reality is more nuanced. While the rate may not differ drastically from civilian marriages, those marriages can suffer, especially with the added strain of retirement. Understanding these dynamics is crucial for building stronger relationships.
Scott shares his personal reflections on balancing career and family, recalling how he prioritized work over personal relationships early in his career. He notes, "I can remember my friend telling me about putting your family first and not your job."
The Importance of Communication
Communication is a significant theme throughout their conversation. Ken and Wende note that many officers struggle to share their work experiences with their partners and often resort to silence. This silence can create distance and misunderstanding in relationships. Ken shares a poignant moment from the podcast:
"We didn't know half the stuff that he went through, and I would have loved to have been there for him for things that he should not have carried alone." – Wende Grubbs
As they conclude their discussion, Ken and Wende's insights underscore that nurturing a relationship takes ongoing effort and communication. Their dedication to improving marriages in the law enforcement community is inspiring and reminds us that every partnership can benefit from intentional growth.
Reflecting on their journey, it's clear that Tactical Relationship Training isn't just about saving marriages; it's about improving the quality of life for officers and their families.
To dive deeper into Ken and Wendy’s insights, listen to the full episode of the Two Chiefs One Mic podcast.
